I don’t know what’s going on. Carl doesn’t answer any of my calls. He hasn’t answered any of my text messages. He has blocked me from his screen names. He has read the e-mails I’ve written him but he hasn’t said anything back. What’s going on? Why won’t he tell me? What did I do wrong? I can’t think of anything. I left Tally to come home and be with my daddy in what were his last hours. I told Carl where I was going. What did I do wrong? I’ve been trying to call him nonstop. I need him. I have no one. He is my bf. He is supposed to be there for me. I was just going to drive back to Tally yesterday because I needed to get away, but I decided against it because Carl wouldn’t pick up his phone. He is the only person I’d want to stay with. I don’t want to drive all the way up there to stay alone. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost. I’m confused. Carl is on my mind 24/7. This is just killing me. It is breaking my heart even more. I lose my daddy and now Carl isn’t talking to me or acknowledging me. I’m to point were I want to like call his father and ask him if he knows what Carl is doing. It is too the point were I almost want to start hurting Carl. I can’t hurt him. I love him too much. God I love him. I really need him. Why doesn’t he see that? Why can’t he at least let me know what is going on? I deserve that. I deserve to know why he is ignoring me. I have every right. I don’t want this to turn ugly. I just want to know what’s going on. I just want to know why he is ignoring me. Why he blocked me? Why did he pick the time that I needed him most? He is slowing killing me. I’m a mess. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I just need him to let me know what’s going on. I deserve that. I deserve that.
Oh and by the way, this blog was discovered through the miracle technology that is the Random Live Journal: BEHOLD!
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